I spuddle.

OK, I know The Bachelorette is long since over and no one should care anymore about these people, and frankly, I don’t much care about them either and you’d think I would, having spent so much time typing about them.   But I don’t.   And yet, I’m sort of lying.  Because whenever I see an article about the blonde girl and the other girl who Ed was sleeping with after he’d proposed to Jillian or whatever order it happened in and the cheesy text messages he sent to these women and generally the way he behaved, I want to write a letter to Jillian and tell her to GIVE HER HEAD A SHAKE.   But I don’t because I’ve already got finger cramps from analyzing the other earlier parts of their relationship for your amusement and mostly also for my own, so I don’t bother.   But today, I idly searched Jillian Harris Ed on Google and I hit this little article right here, which made me laugh — which is a good thing because I’m pretty grumpy today and tired and my brain feels sticky, sort of like chewed gum that has been stuck under someone’s dining room table for six months* — for a whole lot of reasons.    Like five reasons.   Only I can’t think of five, really only one, but I need to do my Five Thing Friday post from last Friday and I want to gossip about strangers also.   I’m like that.   You know, a multi-tasker.

So here we go, this part made me laugh out loud, spitting part of a 10x reheated cup of coffee onto my poor abused keyboard:

“As for taking this big step forward in their relationship, Harris says, “I can start [having] a real life again. I’m looking forward to some sort of normalcy –- making dinners, waking up early, cleaning house. It’s perfect.””

!

Oh, Jillian.

Actually I don’t even really need to comment on that, I think that after your fiance has been caught out cheating on you not once but TWICE post-engagement and had the audacity to have another woman PICK HIM UP AT THE AIRPORT on his return home from PROPOSING TO YOU and then took her to bed along with who knows how many other women who weren’t totally repelled by that hideous tank-top with the contrast binding that he was apparently still sporting, and you take him back, and you move in with him, and you gaily continue to plan a wedding, I guess that your idea of fun being getting up early, cooking and cleaning is not that shocking.   And yet I’m still shocked.   Not SHOCKED as in OMG!  Shocking!   But shocked as in, really?   Wow.   What I used to find annoying about Jillian Harris, I now find sort of… pitiful.

Oh wells.   No time to waste feeling badly for her as she clearly is pretty happy that there are some nice bright throw cushions to use to cover up the stains on Ed’s oft-abused couch.   I’m thinking at the very least they should get a new sofa, or at least have the one that he’s currently inhabiting dipped in boiling water, bleached and professionally dry-cleaned and also sanitized.   I’d kind of worry that I’d catch an STD just from sitting on that thing, frankly.   But what do I know?   I’m just a gossiper.

Oh, reality TV.   How I love thee.   Especially when you spill over into, you know, reality.

OK, I’m done.  I swear, I’m never blogging about these people again.   At least until they announce their marriage and subsequent insta-Divorce.

Or at least, I probably won’t.

*I actually had a conversation with The Bun’s teacher today that likely made no sense to her at ALL because he goes to school in the morning and due to some kind of small stroke or TIA or brain fart, I suddenly became convinced he was in afternoons.  MY OWN CHILD.   WHO I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF PICKING UP FROM SCHOOL.   IN THE MORNING.

Filed under: The Bachelorette, Uncategorized