I spuddle.

Because I’m getting a lot of hits from people looking for washing machines and dryers (and I’m here to serve!), I felt the need to tell you all right away that our new washer/dryer (the Kenmore Oasis top loader with steam dryer) is fine. It’s OK. It has not eaten our clothes or driven me to contemplate suicide. It has not caused a house fire or any marital disharmony. No animals have been harmed in the writing of this post.

It does, however, have quirks. For example, the dryer leaves exactly two pieces of clothes untouched in each load. Two random pieces of clothing come out exactly as they went in: wet and totally wrinkled into an unrecognizable tiny ball because the spin cycle on the washer is FIERCE. Tyra Banks Fierce. It’s like instead of rinsing your clothes in a gentle mountain stream while deer sip water from the shore and butterflies flutter by, it hurls them into the vicious, churning white water at the base of Niagara Falls and then sucks them into the kind of tornado that throws cows and cars and houses around in a whirligig, and then just kind of also spins them around really really fast until a load of laundry that previously would fill a laundry basket is now entirely compressed down into something you can hold in the palm of your hand.

It might not be so good for “delicates”.

But it’s canyon capacity! It’s big! It washes our clothes! All of them, virtually at the same time! And that steam setting does mostly make it so I don’t have to iron!* (Or so I tell myself and those shirts are meant to be “casual” anyway and what does “casual” mean if not “slightly rumpled”?) (Rumpled is sexy!) Which is also a plus! And High Efficiency means that I hardly spend any money on washing detergent! It’s cheaper! And you use less!

This concludes my foray into consumer advising. Oh, I’m kidding. I’ll totally go on and on and on about some dull but imperative appliance in the future. Anyone know anything about gas ranges?

* OK, I admit that I never ironed anyway, but this dryer does save me from taking the shirts to the laundry and paying someone else to iron them.

Filed under: Laundry